Can I Get My Ex Boyfriend Back Without Scaring Him Away?


There are a myriad of different hints and tips that you can follow if you are asking yourself ‘How can I get my ex boyfriend back?’ and your primary goal is not to frighten him away. Break ups definitely do happen, whether we like them or not, but a large number of relationships can be rekindled if you take the right steps to rekindle them without overdoing it. Here are five quick tips for learning how you can get your ex boyfriend back.

1 – The most important rule. Take care of yourself, or improve yourself. Despite who was responsible for the breakup, it’s important to walk away from it with a need to improve yourself. If you want him to regret his decision, work to stay in shape and make improvements to your life, and he will notice these positive changes and start to want you back again. Make new friends, but at the same time ask "is Adult Friend Finder any good or inferior?", explore the world, enjoy your life. But read reviews and worry about your safety.

2 – If you are asking ‘How can I get my ex boyfriend back without scaring him away?’, then the first step in the process needs to be to analyze and study him. You need to be attentive when you speak to him, and be careful about what he says and how you respect. Because you are no longer seeing each other, an interesting facade is going to be built up between you. You need to read more deeply into what he is saying to you, and what he isn’t saying to you, to get a clear cut idea of where everything stands.

3 – Be on the look out rather than being jealous. The best way to figure out how he is feeling about you following a break up, and the best way to figure out what your chances are with him after the split, is to see how he reacts when he is around other women. Does he put you down in the presence of other women? Does he stab you in the back, or does he stand up for you? You may never get direct answers, but he is probably offering plenty of subtle hints in public.

4 – If you are asking ‘How can I get my ex boyfriend back without scaring him away?’ then you definitely want to avoid the mind games. It’s hard to be reserved and avoid playing games with an ex, but because signals are so important when it comes to rekindling an old flame, it is absolutely vital that you emit the right signals, rather than playing with him. Let him know how you feel, subtlety, but with honesty.

5 – Keep your cards close to your chest to gain an edge over him. Power is key in all aspects of life, including love and relationships. Being honest rather than playing games is absolutely essential, but that does not mean you should confess your undying love for him, because this is a sure fire way to extinguish the flame once and for all.

 
 
 

Staying In Love Takes Two!

If you are seeking relationship advice because you feel something has changed, the “spark” has gone chances are you still love your partner.  The problem is most likely that you just do not feel “in love” with them.

You can love a lot of people in very different ways but somehow staying in love with your significant other presents a challenge after the first year or two.  Two people in a relationship get to know each other and familiarity breeds discontent.

She knows things about you that no one else knows and you know that she does not always have a sparkling personality.  Many couples find that while the love is still there, the romantic feelings are missing.

How do you stay in love?  It is a lot easier than you may think.  Staying in love starts with knowing what you already love about your partner.

Core Love Values

1    Do the two of you share values like family, work and goal setting?
2    Do both of you want to communicate but finding the time is a problem?
3    Do you still respect each other in words and actions?

These questions deal with the basics of being in love.  It is important to have these in place before you start to rekindle your romance.

The next step is to ask yourself if you have been playing the “blame game”.   Have you been failing to take responsibility in your relationship for the lack of romance?  For example, your significant other may have a brutal work schedule and you have become resentful.  You stew on another evening alone instead of thinking of how they feel about the situation.

Mature Approaches to Relationships

  •  Anticipate times when your schedules will cause conflict
    •    Communicate regularly about upcoming events that are important to you
    •    Schedule time for each other
    •    Be considerate and kind

If you cannot extend these common courtesies to your partner, how do you expect to stay in love?  Keeping that “in love” feeling alive does not take lots of money or even lots of time. Think about it; you already know what makes your partner happy and you probably also know just how to drive them crazy.  It is your choice.

Show Your Love

  •  Express your interest in what your partner is interested in
    •    Take on more than your share of the household chores when they are overloaded at work
    •    Hang up the phone when they get home, show them you are excited to see them
    •    Tuck a sweet note in their pocket before work
    •    Plan to do something together that you know they like even if it really is not your “thing”
    •    Back off…give your love interest a chance to unwind when they get home
    •    Get physical.  Take a walk together or ride bikes because the endorphins are good for both of you
    •    Give loving touch.  This may not lead to other things but your partner wants you to want them

It is always easier to start out a relationship by showing your love and making time for each other, you can start at any time.  It may not feel comfortable and if things have gotten out of hand your partner may not respond immediately.

Relationship Advice: The 411 on Emotional Infidelity

What’s the difference between Emotional and Physical Infidelity?

In emotional infidelity a partner gives another person their heart, their intimate thoughts, their caring and appreciation, and fantasizes about that person sexually, but does not actually have sex with their “friend.”

What are common triggers of emotional infidelity?

Emotional cheating often starts with when a relationship has lost its passion and is headed for the reef. The partners have settled into dull auto-pilot interactions, have little or no sex, nag or criticize constantly, and rarely create enjoyable times when they are together. Under these conditions one of the partners may begin confiding to a colleague at work or a confidant online about relationship issues. 

It’s common for these complaints to include putting down the partner and blaming him/her for what’s gone wrong. Often, the biggest criticisms are that the partner doesn’t understand, listen or pay attention. Emotional cheating can then progress to a point where the friend who is listening or paying attention is idealized, and fantasized about.

With online cheating it is even easier to fantasize about how great the “friend” is, to flirt and to share information about yourself that you are afraid to share with your spouse. As the secret relationship heats up, emotional cheating can lead to physical infidelity.

What is the fallout of this type of affair both for men versus women?

Men whose partners cheat emotionally often find it less devastating because they are more likely to view love as a sexual connection rather than an emotional one.  Women will find it more so, because for them love is all about relating.

But emotional infidelity is a bad marker for a couple’s chances of making it.  Research has shown that 80% of people who divorce say it is due to a lack of closeness and intimacy, that is, they grew apart.  If a couple has lost that loving connection and one spouse finds it with someone else—it could be a death knell for the relationship. In one study cyber-cheating was seen as just as serious a threat to a marriage as a sexual affair.

What are some warning signs of emotional infidelity?

Work relationships, online flirting on websites, connecting on social networks, talking to ex-lovers on Facebook may or may not be cheating relationships.  Here are six key factors that determine whether or not a relationship is emotional cheating:

  1. You complain about your partner to your “friend” and feel like they understand and appreciate you much more than he or she does
  2. You feel less connected to your partner than you do to your “friend”
  3. You think about, fantasize and have sexual feelings for your “friend”
  4. You share more about yourself with your “friend” than with your partner.
  5. You would rather be with your “friend” than with your partner
  6. Your significant other is not aware of the feelings you have about your “friend”

 What relationship advice can you give in dealing with an Emotional Affair?

Here are five steps you can take right now to begin healing your relationship:

  1. Recognize that it may be a serious threat to the marriage or relationship.
  2. The emotional cheater needs to distance or break away from the person they are involved with in order to “right the boat” of their own relationship.
  3. Discuss problems in your relationship with your partner or a therapist rather than a “friend.”
  4. Rekindle intimacy and friendship in your relationship.  Get to know each other all over again.  Go for long walk-and-talks together.  Have listening sessions where one talks while the other listens with full attention.
  5. Act like you are having an affair with your significant other. Take time to go out on dates and have sexy encounters when you are fresh and attentive with your partner.